There is nothing beautiful or redeeming about self-sacrifice!
How many of you, like me, were raised with the belief that sacrifice is necessary and that it makes us look better? This ridiculous belief that sacrificing ourselves for everyone one else around us has been one of the greatest misperceptions of all times. Not only does it hurt who we are as women, it keeps us from ever owning our true worth and value.
Sacrifice literally means death, and self-sacrifice is tantamount to self-martyrdom.
There is nothing attractive about suicide. And yet, how many women are dying a slow and painful death by giving bits and pieces of themselves away until there is nothing left? Giving what they don’t have until there is nothing but regret and resentment. Don’t even get me started with the hidden addiction to alcohol and anti-depressants many women secretly face as a means of coping.
Forget self-sacrifice. What we as women need to embrace is self-honor.
Self-honor doesn’t mean that you are being selfish. Quite the opposite. Selfishness is thinking only of yourself at the expense of everyone else. Self-honor is considering what is best for yourself and for everyone else. Simply put, you can’t give what you don’t have. When you honor yourself, you learn to say “no.” You learn to listen to your inner voice when it is telling you that you are over-giving. It allows you to give simply because you choose to, and not because you “should” or because of how you will be perceived by others. When you honor yourself first, you give out of love and joy, rather than out of guilt or expectation.
Self-honor allows your inner cup to be full and provides the space for you to give to others from your overflow.
Learning how to honor yourself, and learning to say “no” when what is being asked of you does not serve your wellbeing, does take courage. And when you honor yourself you set an example to other women that they are worth honoring as well.
I honor you and I respect you for seeing yourself as worthy of honor and respect.