A few days ago, I had a huge insight while navigating the subconscious patterns of my past so that I can remedy them and not take them into my future.
Navigating and over-writing the past is essential to creating a joy-filled life.
I came to see that throughout my lifetime I had been deferring my own greatness to other people. For example, I conceded to teachers and adults growing up, because that’s what I was expected to do. There was no concept of self-respect or self-honor in my upbringing, only respecting men and my elders. As I got older my deference turned to those with more experience and education than I had, rather than seeing the value of my own experience. Even in my businesses, I deferred to employees, co-workers and partners because I saw the value in what they brought to the table, over my own value.
In my moment of introspecting I came to see that my last business partner didn’t make me feel small or like an employee. That was a story I had been telling myself. The issue wasn’t her, it was me. it was that I didn’t hold myself up as her equal. My big “aha” was that she brought the money, but I brought the experience. I ran the entire show. She was a silent partner but, in my head, at the time, she wasn’t silent. She didn’t make me feel less about myself, feeling less-than is what I made of her.
Along with this came the knowing that I am the commander of my ship. I used to say that I am the captain of my vessel, but then I realized that I was standing in a little dingy. It’s easy to stand alone in a little boat and not get very far and sometimes that little boat just goes around in circles.
Commanding a ship requires self-trust, self-respect and self-honor, and it requires holding yourself in high-esteem.
It requires knowing that you chart the course and what others bring to the table is of no greater value than what you bring to the table. They are your support team, your officers and deck hands. The ship won’t run without the entire team but taking the bow and charting the course takes inner-knowing that you have earned your place at the helm and you are the commander.
Have the fortitude to set your course, free of doubt, and know the resources will come to support you. The resources will come from wherever they come, and you need to stand tall in who you are, rather than defer your own greatness to those who appear to have more.
Remember, it isn’t about them, it’s about you.
It’s about each of us standing boldly in who we are. It’s about valuing our own gifts, education and experiences and seeing what we bring to the table as invaluable and worthy of investment.