Archive for fearless

It’s Time to Own It

Oprah Winfrey said, after interviewing thousands of people, “The show has taught me there is a common thread that runs through all of our pain and all of our suffering, and that is unworthiness. Not feeling worthy enough to own the life you were created for. Even people who believe they deserve to be happy and have nice things often don’t feel worthy once they have them…”

What a relief it was to know that I wasn’t alone in my struggle with feelings of less than – beliefs in unworthiness appeared to be epidemic.

Except for those who take the time to really look for it and work through their feelings, I suspect it may be getting worse.  It isn’t’ that our feelings of unworthiness are getting worse. The issues have always been there, the only difference is that we are finally recognizing, acknowledging and wanting to heal them.  We are no longer willing to let others beat us down and tell us we don’t deserve what we were created for.

That is precisely why I wrote the guidebook Own Your True Worth: 7 Secrets to Free Yourself from Beliefs of Unworthiness.

This guidebook is now available on Kindle and is coming soon as a pocketbook to carry with you when you need a little boost.

3 reasons why you want to pick up my new e-book:own_your-true-worth-cover

1) You’ll get access to my seven secrets for really “owning it.”

2) You will understand where self-esteem comes from and why low self-worth is such a difficult habit to kick.

3) You will receive new tools for recognizing issues of worth-lessness and how to boost your self-worth from belittled to bold.

Living a life you love is the result of freeing yourself from liming and fear-based beliefs that stand in the way of being completely joyful and fulfilled.

• Are you ready to live that you dream of living but doubt gets in the way?
• Are you working at your dream job but are afraid it won’t last?
• Did you finally get the gig you’ve always been after but still haven’t cashed the check?
• You found Mr. Perfect but wonder what he’s doing with you?
• Does it seem like every time you start getting ahead something happens to ruin it for you.
• Maybe you have everything thing that “should” make you happy but it’s never quite enough.

Perhaps the real issue isn’t your circumstances at all….

Perhaps the real issues instead stem from your unconscious beliefs about your worth. While the issue is the issue, how you see yourself in the issue is also the issue. Feelings of worth can be as subtle as feeling less than, to all consuming feelings of unworthiness.  Unresolved issues surrounding self-worth manifest in everything you touch, from relationships to earning a living.

This guidebook gives you an understanding of where self-worth comes from, how it gets belittled and bullied out of you, and how to remedy it so that you own your true value and live a life you love.

Until next time, be bold, fearless & free. 

Victoria Reynolds Signature

 

Bodacious to Bullied and Back Again

Okay, so maybe I’m dating myself, like I have anything to hide, but the word “bodacious” still rocks in my world. Remember the 80s? Valley girls, righteous dudes and bodacious babes? I finally figured out what it takes to be a bodacious babe and it’s not what I though!

Bold + Audacious = Bodacious

bold

  1. not hesitating or fearful in the face of actual or possible danger or rebuff; courageous and daring
  2. not hesitating to break the rules of propriety; forward; impudent
  3. necessitating courage and daring; challenging
  4. beyond the usual limits of conventional thought or action; imaginative
  5. striking or conspicuous to the eye; flashy; showy

au.da.cious

  1. extremely bold or daring; recklessly brave; fearless
  2. extremely original; without restriction to prior ideas; highly inventive
  3. recklessly bold in defiance of convention, propriety, law, or the like
  4. lively; unrestrained; uninhibited

Based on the above description I can definitely say I’m a bodacious babe. Funny thing is, I always was one. I just didn’t know it.

As a child I was punished for being strong-willed, independent, daring and free-spirited. I was a precocious child who could see and think outside of the carefully crafted box my parents put me in.  My defiance against the system that used terror to control me made my father punish me all the more. Now, before I sound like a whiner, my well-meaning parents were simply over-protective and did the best they could with what they knew. They believed in a God that bullied them and unleashed His punishments if they failed to control me.

The continual pounding on my body, mind and heart finally broke my spirit and my will, just the way parents believed I needed to be.

I grew up with the archaic belief that, “a child’s will needs to be broken” and “you must come to God with a broken spirit.” By the time I reached my teens I was sufficiently broken. What I didn’t know then that I know now, is that the extent of trauma I experienced at the hands of my peers, occurred because I had already been traumatized as a child. Kids with no self-esteem make easy targets for relentless bullies.

It took a very long time for me to put the pieces of myself back together, re-build my will and heal my broken spirit. It turns out they never really broke me, just damaged my ability to recognize myself. It turns out that the spirit, just like the body, can be healed and restored. Now I’m back to my strong-willed, free-spirited, bold and audacious self.

Wow, it’s great to be myself again! How about you?

What I’ve discovered over years working with clients and meeting people at events, is that those who are drawn to me were strong-headed children too. There is nothing that compares to the flurry of excitement that comes with being given permission to be yourself, not only have permission, but being applauded for not fitting in the box. The reason bullying hurts so much isn’t the words and actions of others, but the lack of acceptance for being ourselves. Once you get to the place of self-acceptance it no longer matters what anyone else thinks!

Are you ready to be Bodacious?

Victoria_Reynolds

Get Behind Me Fear!

You might be thinking to yourself, “What does fear have to do with owing my true worth?” And the answer is, everything.

Have you ever hear that saying “get behind me Satan?” I figured out what it really means.   It’s fear.  Fear makes a big fat mess of everything and blocks your desired progress.  Fear is sneaky and deceptive and it disguises itself in many forms.  It disguises itself in ways that are almost undetectable.  Fear is so deceiving that sometimes it even looks like love.  It shows up in your relationships as anger.  It shows up in your career as distraction. It shows up in your personal life as complacency.  It even makes you want to over-eat, or dare I say it, get drunk.  It is the root of stress and frustration.  It is the cause of scarcity.  It creates feelings of shame and unworthiness.   It can even keep you stuck in your own proverbial hell.

Until you learn to recognize fear for what it is and put it behind you, it has the ability to block you from ever experiencing the deliciousness of life that is your birthright.

Understanding fear and the role it plays in your life is a process of digging down through the layers of beliefs that you have picked up in your lifetime. Most of your beliefs are actually other people’s beliefs that were placed upon you as children. They came from your parents, your religion, from school teachers, from friends and siblings, and even came from the media. Some of them you might have created as a child in an attempt to make sense of the chaos around you. Most of your beliefs are based in fear and when you go looking for them, their irrationality will surprise you.  The best part is that once you recognize them, you can put them behind you once and for all.

Were you ever told as a child, “You’re a bad kid. You’re not worthy. You should be ashamed of yourself. You deserved to be punished. You had it coming. You need to feel guilty for what you did. You are just a stupid girl…?”

Unfortunately our subconscious mind buys into other people’s beliefs about our worth and potential. How can you tell if your belief is fear-based?  It’s pretty simple. All you need to do is look at the language in the belief and feel how it sits with your core.   If there is any kind of judgment attached to it, it’s fear-based. If it feels constraining or limiting in any way, it’s fear.   If there is any worry or stress involved with it, you got it, its fear.  The opposite of fear is love.  Not the mushy gushy love most people think of.  The love I am talking about is intrinsic, it is unconditional and it is free.  And, it is far more powerful than fear.

You can put fear behind you with the power of love, simply by overwriting your beliefs with truths.

Truths are always based in love. They will always support you and they will always empower you. You were born in love and learned fear as a child, and as such you can also unlearn it. You can simply choose to no longer believe in your irrational and fear-based beliefs. One of the greatest tools for putting fear behind you is self-forgiveness.  Once you recognize a fear-based belief you can forgive yourself for ever buying into it and then overwrite it with an opposite belief that is based in love and empowerment.

If you are really ready to own your true worth and value, it’s time to excavate your old beliefs. Take them out, have a good look at them, and decide whether you are ready to finally put them behind you, or better yet, transcend them.

Victoria Reynolds Signature

 

 

P.S. Did you find this article helpful? If so, please go to my home page and pick up your free gift that will help you take ownership of your true worth in a few simple steps. If you loved this article, please share it with your friends. And, as always, please feel free to comment on this post with your thoughts or requests for future articles.


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